The Day Agent P Fled in Fear
by NakrellTakima
Summary: (This was a request... please no harsh comments or insults...) Dr. Doofenshmirtz has a plan that will finally free him from Perry the Platypus! Only that he didn't think that this could have a whole other side to it. Going from an innocent fan girl attack to a CRAZY FAN GIRL attack.
1. Chapter 1: Fan Girl

****Note: This is just a parody and more than likely a bad one… I hope not but my friend wanted me to include her in a story and she's a fan of the show…. I OWN NOTHING! **

**For: Nina… dear friend, there is something wrong with you….**

The Day Agent P fled in Fear

D.E.I

"Now Perry the Platypus! Prepare to meet your doom!" yelled Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he pressed a red button to trap the platypus in a giant glue covered web. The platypus blinked in surprise, yet he knew what to expect from his nemesis. A fail booby trap… again.

The Agent glared at the evil scientist as he tried to free himself from the web. It was truly hard, maybe he had underestimated the scientist this time.

"Well, I don't have any backstory to tell you… actually, I don't really have an inaitor either…but! I do have something that will make you crumble in fear!"

'_g-g-g-g-g' _Perry said in reply.

"Don't be sarcastic with me! This time, you will crumble!"

Perry gave him a bored look and let out a sigh. What could it be this time? A giant stuffed spider? Or a feather that would tickle him to death… those thoughts made him want to laugh but his expression changed when he saw Doofenshmirtz bring in a girl.

She was tied up. Her mouth was covered with a piece of duct tape, her hands and feet were tied with rope and she wore a very angered look on her face. _'Oh, this is going too far.'_

Doofenshmirtz set the girl down before him and ripped out the duct tape. "OW!"

"Oh, sorry, kid."

Before the girl could tell him anything, the scientist walked towards the now angered platypus and smiled at him. "Behold!" he said while pointing at the girl, "The Agent P-Fan girl intaitor…"

"Hey! I'm not an inatitor and—" the girl's eyes shined when she saw the defenseless agent and let out a loud squeal, "Oh my gosh! Is that Agent P?!"

Agent P's eyes grew. The scientist laughed as he walked towards the girl. "Yes. Yes he is." He untied her and backed up.

The platypus desperately tried to free himself from the web he was trapped on. He knew what was coming next. More squeals, screams, hugs and other things he just couldn't stand. He knew… he lived with a teenage girl.

"Aw! Look at him! He looks desperate to flee…" the girl said.

"I'm sure he is…" said Dr. D while he rubbed his hands together.

After one final attempt to free himself, the web dissolved and Perry fell to freedom, or rather his fan girl's arms. "Aw! He's sooo cute! Can I take him home?"

"What—no!" yelled Dr. D, he then began to ponder, "On second thought… yes. Yes you can."

Perry felt that the air was being choked out of him. The girl was hugging him extremely tight that he could hear his heart wanting to jump out of his chest. He began to struggle and finally fell to the floor. He didn't even try to fight the scientist, once he was up on his feet he ran. He ran for dear life as the girl chased him.

"Hm… I should hire that girl… I could get more work done…" Heinz thought. He then reached into his lab coat pocket and brought out the girl's identification, "fourteen?!" He shook his fist furiously as he shouted out to the sky, "CURSE YOU WORKING AGE LIMIT!"

**** Yeah… I'm pretty sure this wasn't my best story…..**


	2. Chapter 2: Fan Girl Bad Idea

****Note: I was given an idea… so that is why I'm writing another chapter… Nina's going to kill me… oh well.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2: Fan girl… bad idea**

**O.W.C.A Headquarters**

Major Monogram and Carl looked in disbelief as they witnessed Agent P locking all of the entrances of his hideout as if he was running from someone.

"Uh, Agent P? Is something wrong?" Monogram asked a bit concerned.

The platypus didn't answer; he simply continued to lock all the doors without thinking it twice. Once he was done he walked to his chair and sat down. _'g-g-g-g-g'_

"Huh?"

"He said he's running from someone, sir."

"What?! Agent P! You have been trained to fight all sorts of dangers! And now you're running away!?"

The platypus gave his boss a sorry look. Normally he wouldn't even explain what he was running from, actually, he never ran from anything… he was about to explain when huge knocks and squeals began to echo around the room.

"What on earth is that?" Monogram asked.

Perry stood up; eyes widen and began to tremble noticeably. He quickly hid under the desk before Carl or Monogram saw him. The knocks and the squeals continued, they seemed endless and were quite annoying. "Carl, check the surveillance camera and see who is out there!"

"Yes, sir!" said the intern as he walked to the computer.

The Major turned back to the Agent, "Agent P you—" he blinked. No agent… "AGENT P!"

Slowly Agent P came up from under the desk and looked up at his boss innocently. He sat on his chair and a small embarrassed grin formed on his face. The Major; however, didn't think it was funny at all. For all he knew, Dr. Doofenshmirtz could have sent a robot after the Agent or something worst. But what could possibly be worse than a robot? "Sir, it's a fan girl."

That.

"Oh…" Major Monogram said.

Agent P just looked up at him, _'really?' _ He simply couldn't believe how dumb the Major could be sometimes. Even Doofenshmirtz was smarter than him in some situations… even though he couldn't recognize him without his fedora.

"So… who is that girl Agent P?" Carl asked as he walked over to the monitor.

'_g-g-g-g-g' _

"Huh?"

Perry blinked. He brought out his notepad and a pencil and began to write.

"Carl, since when does he write?"

"He does that on a daily base, sir. Don't you watch the show?"

"Fourth wall reference…"

Carl face palmed. "Yes, sir."

The platypus finally finished writing and held it up to the screen. The Major and Carl both looked at the notepad and read.

"So, Doofenshmirtz kidnapped a fourteen year old?" Carl said.

"Who so happens to be your fan girl?" asked the Major.

Perry nodded.

Silence surrounded the room for a while. The only sound that was heard was those of the persistent fan girl banging on the door and squealing. The silence became awkward when the Major and Carl looked at each other and then back at Agent P. He wouldn't have expected their reaction.

They busted out laughing. '_I don't see how this is funny.'_ Perry chattered.

Within laughs Carl spoke, "Sorry Agent P… it's just… well, she's a fan girl!" he continued on laughing hard that he fell on the floor. "OW! My sides!"

Major Monogram stopped laughing, "Sorry Agent P." he said as he wiped a tear off his eye and looked at the semi-aquatic mammal. "She's just a fan girl. You don't need to worry."

_'You say that cause you don't have any.' _Perry chattered.

"Ok, that sounded painful." Monogram said folding his arms.

Suddenly the knocks and the squeals stopped. There was silence. Monogram and Perry both eyed the door and looked back at each other. They shrugged their shoulders.

"The girl is gone, sir." Carl said.

"Ah, good." He looked down at the Agent who had a relief look on his face, "Well, you are free from your fan girl. You may go."

Perry saluted and left.

"Hm… but they sure are persistent." Monogram muttered.

XXXX

D.E.I

"W-What are you doing here?" Dr. D asked as the girl entered his building. "I thought you were after Perry the Platypus."

The girl walked towards the kitchen and grabbed an apple, "Well, I did follow him… and I was trying to get him for a few minutes." She took a bite.

"Then why are you here?" he asked as he closed the door.

"I got bored."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz hit his face in disbelief. "Seriously?"

The girl nodded and walked to her backpack that was lying on the living room floor. She picked it up, sat on the couch and began to search through it. She brought out a notebook, a pen, a pencil and color pencils. Before she did anything else she gave the apple core to Dr. D who was standing behind her. "Could you throw this away, please?"

The scientist let out a sigh, rolling his eyes he walked to the kitchen and threw the core in the trash bag. As he began to walk out of the he couldn't help but to hear small sighs coming from the living room. He got to the living room and noticed the girl was blushing slightly as she looked at something in her notebook.

"What is that? And why are you blushing?"

She quickly hid her notebook under a pillow and smiled at the evil scientist. "Nooothiing."

He stared at her a bit annoyed. The girl, she was just grinning like a Cheshire Cat. There was nothing cute about that, it was just creepy. Being curious was something he couldn't help; he had to know what was in that notebook. "Uh… kid, I'm planning to make an extremely evil intator and I was wondering if you could get something for me."

She stared at him, "What's in it for me?"

"Um… well, I suppose I could let you be in the trap where I'll trap Perry the Platypus in."

She let out a squeal, "I'll do it!"

_Teenagers… _he thought, "Great. Well, here's the list." He handed her a piece of paper.

The girl looked at the list, looked up at the scientist, shrugged her shoulders and left the building. Heinz let out an aggravated sigh, "Finally. I thought she'd never leave…"

He walked towards the window and when he saw her out on the streets he ran to the couch and reached under the pillow, "Now, let's see what she was hiding."

Dr. D brought the notebook out and opened it. He was expecting something like 'I love (blank)' or a picture of the girl's crush. But instead he saw something that made him shiver. Something that was pure evil… the kind of evil he wasn't proud of.

Perryshmirtz.

"Oh my god! Wh-What is this?!" he turned the page, "Ugh! No! This… this is… what's wrong with this girl?!"

As much as he wanted to stop looking through the notebook, he couldn't. He kept flipping, "What?! No! God no! He… he's a platypus! How can…." His eyes widen at an image, "Oh god I'm gonna be sick…" he dropped the notebook and ran to the bathroom.

He must have been in the bathroom for a long time. Because when he came out, the girl was sitting on his couch watching television. Dr. D didn't even bother to say anything to her. At first he looked at her as his salvation from Agent P, but now he saw her as a crazy fan girl.

_What is wrong with this girl? Do all girls her age like THAT stuff? It's disgusting! It doesn't even make any sense! I mean how can— _Thinking about what he had seen made him return to the bathroom and throw up.

While that happen the girl smiled to herself as she heard Dr. D vomit in the bathroom.

"That's what you get for being too curious."

****Ok… what do you think? Please review no harsh comments…**


	3. Chapter 3: Fixing Mistakes

****Note: Sorry Nina… This will be the last chapter of this story but there will be more to come… someone just gave me an idea that I just CAN'T turn down… you know who you are….**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3: Fixing Mistakes**

**D.E.I—*After Hours***

The day had finally ended; the girl was finally, after hours and hours of endless laughter, asleep. Dr. D remained awake though. He couldn't bring himself to sleep or even close his eyes for a minute. How he wish he hadn't been curious. Why didn't he just ignore the notebook? No! He just had to look inside it! _Way to go, Heinz. Way to go. _He thought.

He walked to the kitchen, turned the lights on and prepared himself some coffee. This was going to be a long night for him… Perry the Platypus was lucky; all the girl had done was hug him. Never mind a hug! It had been more like a deadly bear-hug! That hadn't been so bad…

He heard the girl move. Why was she still with him?

Oh right… he kidnapped her. Why had he done it? To get Perry off his shoulders BUT it all just had to turn around in a creepy crazy fan girl way! He could just take her out and throw her in a dumpster. Then again, she'd find her way back… how? He had no idea.

He groaned. "I have to get rid of this girl… but how?" Heinz began to drink his coffee when an idea hit him. The O.W.C.A! "To the Doof-mobiel!" he screamed and ran out the door with his coffee in hand, then returned inside to grab the notebook he had placed in a zip-lock bag and then once again took off.

On the living room couch, the girl sat up. Dr. Doof had woken her up with his endless sulking. And now, he wanted to get rid of her! She raised, left the couch and went to the scientist lab. There she saw a lot of ray guns and half broke inaitors.

She looked around and came across a small ray gun. It was labeled "Shrink-inator". She blinked. That explained its size, a devilish smile formed on her face. She took the small ray gun and took it apart. Making a few changes in the wiring and it could turn into something she wanted… and fast.

**Flynn-Fletcher Household**

Perry was soundlessly sleeping on Ferb's bed when his watch began to beep. The sound awoke him; he covered the watch and made sure his owners where still asleep. Once he confirmed it, he pressed the button and listened.

"Sorry to disturb you at this hour Agent P, but you must come to the Agency at once!" Monogram said.

The Agent saluted and left. On his way out, before stepping out he took a look outside. He wanted to make sure the girl was not out there waiting for him. True, it was the middle of the night but fan girls were very persistent! With no one in sight, the platypus exited the house hold and went to the agency.

**O.W.C.A. Head Quarters**

When Perry arrived, he didn't expect to see the Major in ducky pajamas and Carl in a complete body pajama. In fact, he didn't expect to see Doofenshmirtz at the Agency. Just what was this?

"Hello, Perry… I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here…" Dr. D asked.

The semi-aquatic mammal nodded.

The Major and Carl invited the two nemeses to the conference room to sit. Once they were sited, a desperate cry from Doofenshmirtz took everyone by surprise. "I'm sorry, Perry the Platypus!"

_'g-g-g-g-g?' _Perry chattered.

"Well, for the fan girl!"

Agent P rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. _'g-g-g-g-g.' _He chattered.

"Ok, we need to do something about that 'g-g-g-g' sound." Carl stated as he left the room.

Everyone just looked at one another indifferent as the awkward silence took over again. Their eyes soon drifted from each other to looking around the room while they waited for Carl. When the intern finally returned, he had a collar in his hand. "Put this on, Agent P." He handed the collar to the small mammal.

Perry looked at it for a moment. He put it on and then noticed everyone was staring at him. "What?" he said and rapidly covered his mouth.

"It works!" Carl yelled.

"And just what is that, Carl?" the Major asked trying to hid his admiration for the device.

"It's an animal translator, sir."

Perry rolled his eyes and looked at Dr. D, "Like I said. It's no big deal…"

"Wrong! It is a big deal! The girl is crazy!"

"Oh come on, Doctor. What could she have possibly done that defines her as 'crazy'?" Monogram asked, "Well, aside from chasing down Agent P."

The scientist placed the notebook on the space before him and slowly opened the zip-lock bag. He took the notebook out and opened it towards the Major, the intern and the Agent. "This."

Jaws dropped and huge gasps were heard. Major Monogram and Carl looked over at Perry who was frozen in shock and disgust. His left eye began to twitch noticeably as he continued to stare wide eyed at the notebook.

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz! Just what is the meaning of this… this…"

Before the Major could finish, Agent P jumped out of the chair and ran to the nearest trashcan in the room. The three men made a face as they heard the small mammal vomit. Of course, they could understand his reaction. Dr. Doofenshmirtz closed the notebook and placed it in the zip-lock bag again.

After a few minutes the semi-aquatic mammal returned to his seat. He still had that sick look on his face, "Ok… what's the plan?" he asked.

"I don't know! After seeing this I-I'm terrified of talking to the kid."

"Does this girl have a name?" Carl asked.

Good question.

The scientist began to think back on it. "Come to think of it, I never asked for her name… I just called her Agent P's fan girl." He began to laugh, "You should have seen his face when that girl hugged him!"

The platypus curled his fist together and jumped at the laughing scientist, he wanted to punch that smile off of his face but as soon as their eyes met they pushed away from each other and began to vomit.

"Gentlemen, please! Stop making this such a big deal!" Monogram yelled.

The scientist was the first to recover. He stood up, looked at Monogram and point his finger furiously at him, "You have no idea how this feels Monobrow!"

"It's Monogram."

"Whatever! Have you any idea how much therapy I need now?!"

The Major and Carl just exchanged indifferent looks before shrugging their shoulders. With an annoyed sigh, Dr. D sat down and tired not to look at Perry who had just recovered and was now sitting down in his chair. Carl looked at the two nemeses before snapping his fingers. "You must fix the fourth wall!"

"Carl, for heaven's sake stop mentioning the unmentionable!" Monogram told the intern.

"Sorry sir, but the girl is a fan… She knows who Agent P is and where he lives… the fourth wall must be fixed! Otherwise she'll remain here forever!"

"NO!" yelled the platypus and the scientist in unison.

Monogram just stared at them. "Ok… how do we do it?"

**Hours later**

"So, we trap her… take her to the Dansville Bay and ship her off to China? Is that the best idea you came up with?!" Perry yelled at his nemesis.

"Well, think of something else, Mr. Smarty Pants!"

The yelling made Major Monogram and Carl awake from their sleep. They looked at the two foes that still refused to look at each other. "I say we go with Doofenshmirtz's plan." Carl said.

"What?!" The Agent replied.

"Well, we don't know where the girl came from… So shipping her off very far could help."

He had a point.

The platypus sighed. "Fine… how do we do it?"

Monogram and Carl looked at each other while a devilish smile formed on their face. They left the two now "allies" hanging for a little while before looking at them with a huge grin. "Bait."

The scientist and the agent exchanged nervous glances. This wasn't going to end well…

**D.E.I**

It was mid-morning. The girl was standing near the window. She hadn't slept since Doofenshmirtz left but she was wide awake. She was waiting for them to return. She knew, oh yes… she knew.

She smiles as she saw Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Agent P coming towards the building from the sky. An aerial entrance… so predictable. She let out a yawn and pressed a button. As soon as the Agent and the scientist came through the roof they were instantly trapped in a metal cage.

"Well, Dr. D and Perry the Platypus, so nice of you to drop in." She said.

"How did you know?" Dr. D asked confused.

"I'm a fan girl remember? I've seen the show—"

"Stop mentioning the unmentionable!" yelled Monogram, blowing their cover.

The girl grinned and pressed another button. It wasn't long before the Major and Carl were trapped in a different cage on opposite ends of the room. "Way to go, Monobrow." Doofenshmirtz said.

"Oh, shut it Doofenshmirtz."

"Ahem."

They looked at the girl who remained standing in the middle of the room. She brought out a remote from her hand and clicked it. A metal hand claw reached into the cage where Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry were trapped in; before they could react the metal claw grabbed Perry and brought him out.

"NO! NOT AGAIN!" yelled the desperate platypus as he tried to escape.

"Oh, yes again!" she replied and she took him from the claw and hugged him tightly. The platypus's eyes grew and tried to wiggle his way out of the girl's arms. No result.

The hug lasted for a couple of minutes, and so did the baby talk. The scientist, the major and the intern could only observe in horror. Poor Agent P… he was just a little platypus. Finally, she returned him to the cage and locked it.

Perry hugged himself, noticeably shivering. He didn't mind hugs; he just minded that girl's hugs! He felt that she had tried to suffocate him with that tight embrace. "Uh, Perry… you have lipstick on your cheek." Dr. D said.

The platypus let out a scream and began to clean his cheek with his hand. "Get off! Get off!"

"Meanie." She pouted. "Anyway… I heard Dr. D talking about how he wanted to get rid of me. This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been too curious!"

They stared at him and shook their head.

"What? She wouldn't tell me."

"Well. Since you were away I took the time to take apart one of your inaitors and made a few changes into it."

Dr. D gasped, "You did what?! How could you!"

She laughed. She reached into her back pack and brought out a small ray gun. She lifted it high and yelled, "Behold! The Yaoi-Pairing Maker-inaitor!"

They screamed.

"My name is Nina, by the way."

"Young lady! I forbid you from using that ray gun on Agent P and Dr. Doofenshmirtz!"

Nina turned around and walked towards Monogram and Carl. "Relax, I'm not going to use it on them… It hasn't been tested yet."

A sigh of relief was heard. That was good news for them; it was bad news for the Major and the intern. She pointed the ray gun at them. "W-Wait a minute! You said it hasn't been tested!" Carl said.

"True." Nina stated, "You two are the test subjects."

She fired the ray gun. It wasn't long before the Major and Carl were both surrounded by a light green spectrum. Once it cleared off, they looked at each other.

Nothing.

"Oh well… I guess the fans don't really want to see any of you two."

"Stop referring to the fourth wall!" They yelled.

Nina laughed. She then walked towards Dr. D and Perry. They began to back up into the cage as they saw her step closer. "The fans would like to see some Perryshmirtz."

Dr. D frowned and stepped closer, "Wait! Why is his name first?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Isn't it obvious?"

They looked at each other and screamed. Soon they began to vomit once again, to everyone's dislike. But it couldn't be helped. "Don't worry, once I shoot you both with this… you won't find it disgusting."

She pointed the ray at them. Worry soon surrounded the room, Nina was about to shoot the ray when a metal hand claw grabbed her. "HEY!"

They all turned to see who had been their savior.

"I'm Norm."

"NORM! Oh, thank goodness you came!"

The giant robot man walked over to the prisoners. He ripped the cage open releasing the evil scientist and the agent. Agent P hurried over to free his boss and the intern. "Good job, robot man!"

"I'm glad to have helped."

"And for you young lady, it's off to China!"

"CHINA?!"

**Dansville Bay**

"You won't get rid of me that easily! I shall return!" Nina yelled as she was being placed in a wooden box labeled 'Feed, and do NOT let out until the ship has reached China.'

The box was then grabbed by a metal claw and placed on board. Soon the ship departed and was out of sight within minutes. "Well, I hope you learned your lesson Dr. D." Monogram said.

"Oh yes… big time."

Perry looked up at him, "And the lesson is?"

The scientist raised his hand, his index finger pointing up.

"Never break the fourth wall!"

They sighed and began to walk away.

"What? That wasn't the answer?" he walked after them, "At least you could tell me what you wanted to hear… please?"

****Ok… end of this Chapter. What do you think? Now, it's off to write more of this… A series shall be made… so think of this story as the epilogue of the series.****


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